Sometimes wisdom arrives at the most uncomfortable moments. For Dr. Shayna Kaufman, it came during a silent retreat – in sticky San Diego heat, without even the comfort of a ponytail or a fan. A hot flash. And it brought with it an awakening to how our stories about midlife transitions often cause more suffering than the transitions themselves.
Sometimes wisdom arrives at the most uncomfortable moments. For Dr. Shayna Kaufman, it came during a silent retreat – in sticky San Diego heat, without even the comfort of a ponytail or a fan. A hot flash. And it brought with it an awakening to how our stories about midlife transitions often cause more suffering than the transitions themselves.
Sitting there on her meditation cushion, forced to simply be present with the experience, she discovered something surprising: when she stopped fighting against the sensations and simply observed them, the hot flash transformed from a dreaded enemy into a fascinating dance of sensations. Heat rising, sweat trickling, waves of intensity flowing and ebbing. Without the narrative of “this is terrible,” it was just… interesting.
This moment became a metaphor for her entire approach to midlife transitions. What if, instead of bracing against change, we could lean into it with curiosity? What if, rather than viewing midlife as a series of losses, we could see it as an invitation to discover what this moment is perfect for?